Sunday, 17 May 2009

sunday evening… nostalgic feelings…

My mother sees me and greets me wearing a huge smile.
“It’s going to be a good day,” I say to myself as I hug her. She hugs me with all her strength. I imagine that, for her, it feels like years since she saw me last, although it has only been a week.
“This is my daughter,” my mother says to her friends seated around her. They all nod and say hello. I’ve met them all dozens of times. I notice that my mother does not use my name, and I briefly wonder if she can recall it, but no matter. Today she knows that I am her daughter and that’s enough for me.
I help her get ready for our weekly outing, chatting about family and the silly events of the past week. She listens politely and sometimes laughs at my stories. I take her arm and help her into my car.
On the way back to her place, I tell her all about family and the silly events of the past week. No matter that these are stories I have told her numerous times. No matter that I don’t think she can recall the names of her grandchildren. Today she knows I am her daughter, and that’s enough for me.
I kiss my mother, and as I look into her eyes to say good bye, my heart breaks just a little more. I know her future. I know what this disease will do to her. I just don’t know when, and I don’t know what it will do to me. But no matter, there’s next Sunday and the Sunday after that.
For now, I still have my mother and that’s enough for me.
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